“I don’t understand why this game with a brown ball is called football if you mostly hold the ball in your hands.”
[discussing his gifted Ralph Lauren US Open hat] “I am NOT wearing a baseball hat. This is a horse hat. Baseball hats have capital P’s on them.”
“Daddy, why are you always watching baseball?” “Mikey, this is soccer. This is the first time I have ever turned on a soccer game. The United States is playing in something called the World Cup.” “I think those men all look very sweaty. They need to drink more water.”
“Why is everyone in our neighborhood playing sports at the playground? I want to ride the scooter on those fields and they are in my way.”
I Guess Means Yes? 
I LOVE the baseball hat comment. I’m going to have to show that one to Jen. She’ll definitely appreciate it!